The Struggle

A few people who have read over my blog entries often comment about my openness here. I tend to open up so that others can feel comfortable to do the same. So I am going to share one of the struggles I am having currently.

In the fall of 2004 when God placed the desire on my heart to start a new "church," little did I know that I would walk away from paid ministry and the traditional setting of "church." My college education was centered on a model that I have since left. My calling hasn't changed, just the manner in which it is carried out. So the last three years have been a real struggle.

The struggle has been finding my place in the work force. If you were to look at my work history over the last three years, you will find a lot of changes. From furniture sales to car sales back to furniture sales. From there, I tried the financial adviser role only to find it not working and so on to merchant services provider, a weekend sales position (selling furniture), a sales position with a sales training company, and an independent distributor for a great company all at one time! In the midst of all of this, my goal was to help establish pockets of disciples who follow after Jesus.

The words of Jesus, "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you," ring in my ears about now. Could it be that all of my struggles to find my place and to provide a consistent income for my household be caused by my loss of focus? What does it truly mean to seek His kingdom? I understand the righteousness part but perhaps there is something more that I need to be doing in the Kingdom area.

I also wonder too if people have not been around what is often referred to as "tent-makers." There are those like who have chosen to spread the message of the Kingdom without taking a salary from the gathering of believers we meet with and earn our living doing something outside of the "norm." (In the days which the Apostles lived, Paul spent some time making tents to provide for his needs as a tent-maker.) I wanted to meet with a group of ministers and youth ministers this morning and share with them an idea that could really add some value to their ministry. Upon hearing about my coming to share with them about this tool, which is one of the businesses that I am in, they didn't want me to come. If people within the Kingdom don't help (and by help, that doesn't necessarily mean they have to do business with me, but they may know who I can help and direct me to them), do we leave it up to the world to be our means?

There is a growing need for people to become more focused on helping others than just themselves. I think that is why Jesus said "seek first his kingdom..." (emphasis mine), because our natural tendency is to seek our own kingdom. Herein lies my struggle. My need to pay bills keeps looming before me and they are backed up. So I am pursuing 4 different avenues to just try and make ends meet and I feel like I have little time left for the Kingdom. How does one just ignore the need that has become great to not think about it and pursue the Kingdom?

Your feedback is always appreciated and I hope that this all makes sense. I am just a disciple struggling through this thing called life and hope that I can in some way help others along the way!

Regaining Focus

More and more people are searching out what it means to be the church. Our own network of simple/house churches will be reflecting on the following ideas and how to best practice them.

We will be looking at what it means to love God in our daily lives. Because this is a very personal action, we are going to encourage our groups to read a Psalm a day to grow in our devotion to God. Suggested approach will be to read through the Psalm once just to have the overall picture. Begin reading it a second time stopping on any words or phrases that stand out to meditate on them. If anything creative comes out of the meditation, act upon it: sing, write out your thoughts in verse, sketch, paint, create. The third element would be to begin finding questions that flow from the verses. The questions may not be able to be answered but our thoughts should generate lots of them. Once you have questions listed, identify what stands out to you or makes the light bulb turn on. Finally, is there anything you need to act on? The point of reading the Psalm is not for doctrinal purposes but to grow closer to God.

We are working on what it means to love one another and loving our neighbor. Those of us living in either a rural or suburban area have a much different lifestyle than in places where everyone in a village area or inner city where there is more frequent contact with their neighbors. We may only see our neighbors once in a while. How do you begin to encourage one another daily? How do we keep relationships within the Body of Christ at the top of our list when we spend 8-12 hours working, commuting, and then come home to take care of daily needs like meals and spending time with our own family? We have a number of resources that we all use on a regular basis that we need to find ways of using it to connect. Facebook may be an option, for example. We are open for suggestions on how this can be accomplished doing the things we are already doing.

These are the two big areas that we are working on to accomplish loving God and loving others.

Love Your Neighbor

The second most important thing that we must do is love our neighbor. How are you doing that on a practical level on a regular basis (I am looking for daily practices here)?

Love God with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, Mind

I am curious as to how you accomplish this on a day to day basis. Please post your thoughts.

The World of Twitter

I have decided to venture out and do intentional tweets on Twitter. If you would like to follow along join me at: @a_disciple

I hope this will be a means of encouraging others as we journey through life together discovering spiritual truths.

Observations That Leave Me Perplexed

DISCLAIMER: The following comments have nothing judgmental towards the people who are a part of the building I am about to comment on. These are just my thoughts about a physical building called a church.

We were celebrating a special occasion that took place in a church building. While awaiting for this beautiful event to begin, I walked around the building to pass a little time. I took some pictures of some things that just perplexed me. Now, just to be clear on this, you have to understand my working definition of church. I have come to understand that the "church" is really made up of people who have strive to be one in mind and heart under the leadership of Jesus and His teachings. A word picture that sums it up would be that of a body where the people make up the various parts to the body and Jesus serves as the Head.

So now on to the first picture. I have blurred the name as the person whose name is there may not have had any say in the matter. This really perplexes me. Where does honoring one another that the Bible says we should do cross the line? In this building, the purpose of it was designed to be a place where believers come together to worship. What purpose does it serve to name portions of the building after mere men? Let me just add this. I picked up one of their newsletters and found that this atrium connects the old building to a new multi-purpose building in which they fell short of $1.7 MILLION. They were contemplating a 10 or 20 year loan to repay the DEBT.

So now there is pressure (dare I say, bondage to the lender) to make sure there is enough money to pay back the loan. For the next 10 or 20 years, how many times will the people here a message, be begged to give more money, to pay for a building? Instead of helping people in need or focusing on helping people grow spiritually, there will be a huge focus on maintaining members and givers to alleviate the debt. Does this perplex anyone else?

Let me say once again, I am not judging anyone's hearts or motives. I just think people have lost sight of what the "church" really is, and many people are not finding their desire to grow spiritually being met by attending the services held in these buildings.

I may post some other pics I took of things in the building that bothered me a bit as well.

Transparency

One of the most valuable and yet dangerous places you can be in life is the place where you can be completely transparent. How often do we find ourselves in a place where we cannot admit to our struggles, our feelings, or our thoughts to others because we fear what will become of our admission? I have found that there are few places that we have that opportunity and for different levels of transparency.

I have one level that is for the general populace. Here my thoughts and concerns are not my inmost thoughts or struggles but a level in which most can relate and realize I don't have all the answers. The next level deeper is in a smaller setting of more trusted people where I can share my struggles with ideas and concepts that have been passed on to me and accepted as normal. Our gatherings have been really good for this. I feel that we have created a place where people can share their questions, their struggles with understanding spiritual truths, and question the very foundational elements without fear of being labeled, rejected, or scorned for having such thoughts. Then there is the level that goes another step, and that is the level of best friendship. Here is where one can share intimately with another knowing they are accepted for who they are and there is no judgment.

I am curious as to how many people recognize these levels and feel like they have all of these levels present in their lives. I have had conversations with people on three levels. Some people will share with me on the deeper level, but it is not reciprocal. The deepest levels are reserved for about 3 or 4 people in my life. Even for those 3 or 4, I find I struggle to be completely open. Which brings me back to my thought, transparency can be immensely beneficial to us or the most dangerous.

Common Concern

I noticed the following question popped up and would post who it was from but I haven't received permission yet. I will acknowledge the source if they grant permission.

Can I ask a question that will probably have people thinking (again) I'm so judgmental? When did it become OK for Christians to drink alcohol with not even a thought of how it could cause others to stumble or hurt their testimonies? It's not what I've heard in any church I've ever attended, yet it seems all too prevalent. I think the "everything in moderation" thing is a cop out, so... I'm looking for a legit answer.

This continues to be a topic of serious misunderstanding among those who follow after Jesus. I responded to the above with the following:

May I suggest a reading of the following: Lev. 23:9-14 (notice what is part of the offering); Deut. 14:22-29(use the silver to buy what?); Isa. 5:22 (the warning); John 2:1-11 (the very best); Mt. 11:16-19 (the difference between John and Jesus); and one last one, Eph. 5:15-20 (the first verse being the key about living our life).

I think it is easy to point to drinking as being a stumbling block. There are so many other things that make us stumble that we never address. What about television? How many times do we see people gossiping on TV and yet that is a sin that has devastating effects on our lives and relationships. Cable could be the cause of stumbling for someone struggling with a porn addiction (internet also in that category). The bottom line in my opinion isn't the "everything in moderation" but living life as an example of one who has a real relationship with God through Jesus.
Food for though. May I post your question on my blog?

There was one response to the question that included a good link (Is It a Sin for a Christian to Drink Alcohol?).

In my previous days as a youth minister, it was prudent for me to abstain. One, the leadership of the church would have fired me for partaking. Two, I was an influence to many teenagers who looked to me as an example (as much as you try to point people to look at Jesus as the example, they still looked to you).

In my present situation, I find myself enjoying much more freedom. I enjoy a drink on an occasion and always with self-control. My co-workers find it a bit funny that I only have one or two drinks when I am out with them but I am setting an example of what it means to have self-control.

I know that this topic is a touchy one for many but I share this with the hopes of having good dialogue.