Effective Leadership

A friend of mine recently asked me to answer a couple of questions regarding leadership. I thought I would share the questions here to find your thoughts as well.

1) What is your definition of leadership?

2) Could you describe your personal beliefs about effective leadership?

Please post your thoughts here.

Here are my answers to the questions:

1) Leadership to me was really defined by John Maxwell.  I remember him saying (paraphrasing mind you) that if you look behind you and people are following, you are a leader.  If there is no one behind you, then you are just out for a walk.  I think that summarizes leadership.  You are leading someone to another place whether that is personally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, politically, or financially, and it can be a place for the better, the worse, or more of the same.  The key being, someone is following YOU.

2)  If leadership is able to see where you are going even if it is not yet clear, make the appropriate steps toward that goal, and motivate those who are following toward that goal, that is effective leadership.  I believe leadership can be effective in multiple ways. It can come as a result of positive motivation or out of fear.  If you get to the end result that you were striving for, that would be effective.  The methods to reach that goal may be the difference in whether people feel rewarded for their efforts or just glad the journey is over.  Leaders have different styles of working with people and working with systems, so there is no one particular model of leadership that is more effective than another.  The destination that you arrive at is the key to determining if your leadership is effective.

A Rich Poor Man

The following is just some reflections on my life looking back at 2009.  It is not meant to be a "woe is me" story or a call for charity.  It is simply what I have been reflecting on today as I see myself as a rich poor man.

A Poor Man

There are several things that have happened over the past year that have made me realize that I am a poor man in many areas of my life.  My intentions were not to be in this place but now that I have found myself there, I have to reflect on what I am learning from this experience.  

Financially, I am a poor man. This past year was one the worst years financially for me since college.  I don't think I made enough this year to even cover my mortgage payments let alone, food, gas, electricity, phone, Internet, or propane from my income.  I wasn't able to visit the optometrist, take the dogs to the vet, afford any new clothes, buy my wife anything for her birthday or Christmas, pay for any health insurance, put money into retirement or savings. I have had to take on a $9 an hour part-time job during the weekends to supplement some income while trying to get about 3 other jobs to produce income during the week. I took on debt again after having been out of it.  I have no financial cushion or emergency fund to catch my fall.

Physically, I am a poor man. I have long since stopped any regular fitness routine.  The past three months have had me pushing the limits of my mind and body working 7 days a week trying to produce some form of income.  We have been living on a limited food budget so anything resembling fresh fruits and vegetables has been out.  We have been buying the cheapest of foods not necessarily the best of nutritional value (the good foods for your body cost more).

Spiritually, I am a poor man. It seems that I my connection with God has been less than desirable. I have been struggling to maintain the relationship with God that He so desires to have with me.  I gave my life to serve His Kingdom 21 years ago, and I have lost focus of that calling. My prayer life has been nearly non-existent. Discipleship with a few has been missing. Staying active with members of my spiritual tribe has been a struggle to maintain.

Personally, I am a poor man.  I have struggled with my own purpose in life. I have been through the gamut of emotions from being excited about an opportunity to being absolutely discouraged because it isn’t working out. I have dealt with some depression. I have been stressed to the point of mental shutdown. Quality time with friends has gone by the wayside.

Despite my view of my own poverty, I am still a rich man.

A Rich Man

Financially, I am a rich man.  No, I am not living off of savings or a trust fund.  Yes, my wife has had a much higher producing income this year, but she is diligent about budgeting her business expenses and professional training.  So she has carried SOME of the load.  I still have a house with electricity, plumbing, and heat. I have a job and I have opportunities to make money. I have a mindset that will not let me stay in a level of poverty. I have learned to make due with the little that I have and make that stretch even further.

Physically, I am a rich man.  I have been blessed to this point in my life with a healthy body.  I am in relative good shape despite not exercising regularly.  I know my body’s limits and when to push forward and when to pull back. I practice moderation in all things to keep my body healthy.

Spiritually, I am a rich man. The grace of God is priceless.  His love is unending. His mercy is bountiful. He has made the way for me to have a relationship with Him.  No matter what I need in life, He is the Provider.  Even if I am quiet, He still speaks to me.  Even if I have not pursued Him to the level I need to be, He is there.

Personally, I am a rich man. Through everything, I have been made stronger.  My marriage has been made stronger through the struggle. I have been encouraged to walk the path I have been destined for. I have friends who care about me.  I continue to make new relationships.  I have not and will not give up!

The conclusion of the Matter:

I am a rich poor man.

Lady Gaga -- Gospel Message

Okay, I am going to open the door here and share something that will get a few of you to just shake your heads, but I am going to do it anyway.  I am a Lady Gaga fan!  There.  No point in hiding it. Those of you who like to psycho-analyze people can try to figure me out if you want on this one. 

Lady Gaga's song "Bad Romance" has struck me as one of the most remarkable songs of late to blatantly come out with the Gospel message without any intention of doing so.  The truth in the song that comes out is the very heart of God.  Let me go through some of the lyrics of the song and explain.

"...caught in a bad romance..."

First, of all, are we not caught in a bad romance with God?  After all, He is the perfect one and we are the ones who continually disappoint, fall short of the expectations of a faithful relationship. By His grace, we are able to continue in the relationship, but it was at the very cost of His Son's life.  He has given so much for our love and what do we return that love with?  From His perspective, it appears to be a bad romance.

"...I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love..."

These are the things that we want to hide and think that nobody will accept. Our ugly and our disease, our everything, He wants it all.  The love of God is unconditional.  He wants it with no strings attached because He wants our love.  We are to give it all to Him.  Doesn't this sound like a bad romance when one is willing to accept all of us and yet He is perfect?

"...I want your drama
The touch of your hand...
...I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love..."

God doesn't say He will take us if we have everything together.  Sometimes we have lots of drama that we have caused in our lives and He wants that too.  He wants to have that sense of a relationship that is close like lovers have, an intimate relationship (not in the physical sense but that closeness that lovers have for one another).  God's desire is to have a deep relationship that is unlike all others.  God has reached out His hand, are we willing to to reach out and take it?

Lady Gaga's thoughts behind the message of the song: "What I'm really trying to say is I want the deepest, darkest, sickest parts of you that you are afraid to share with anyone because I love you that much." She said this on an interview with Fuse and also on a MTV interview about the song. That is the Gospel message.  It doesn't get any clearer than that.  That message is what people are longing to hear.

Despite some of the other lyrics in the song and Lady Gaga's originality, the message is there.  If only we could really help people see the God who will accept us with all the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Yes, it does seem like a bad romance, but, He still loves us.

Yours or His

After a really great comment on a previous post, I wanted to share some thoughts that would be better brought out here then left in the comment section. In sharing about my struggle to find my place in the work force, one question I was asked in the comments was: "was it my idea or God's?" This question probably should be asked more often than it is, but asked in a more personal fashion, "Is this my idea or yours, God?"

In determining the answer to that question, how do we begin to recognize the answer? Obviously, there is no magical formula that if you pray for one solid hour or fast for three days, God will give you an answer. It is possible that if you did one of those things, the answer could come. But if we are living a life of prayer, a life that is pursuing the heart of God throughout the day, can we make decisions in areas of our life using the intelligence and wisdom He has given us? If the Spirit is residing in us, how do we determine if ideas are His or ours?

The questions here have been asked time and time again for centuries.  This is just part of being in a relationship with God rather than some ritualistic formula that God gives on how to live.  We must learn how to listen to God and know when He is speaking to us and when we are just talking to ourselves. It all comes back to your relationship with God.  God desires to have a friendship with you, yes, you!  Spend some time with God, not just speaking to Him, but listening to Him as well. 

Goal Setting

We all set goals.  We all set them in different ways.  You might even argue that not everyone sets goals.  But I remember Zig Ziglar saying in an audio set I had years ago on goal setting, "if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time."  Although some people may not go through the process of actually writing out their goals, they are achieving what they set out to do: nothing.

There are things that I want to accomplish in my life and not leave to chance.  So I have made a choice to write out my goals and have accountability for going after those goals.  I have a target in mind and on paper that I want to hit.  This is an important step to take and only a few people will take that step.  If you want to change your future, be sure to write out your goals.

If you are looking for a resource to help you in writing out your goals,  you can search the web for resources, or you can check out Freedom Personal Development for a goal setting sheet. They have a lot of other resources available to help you grow personally as well.

Once you have those goals written down, be sure to review them regularly.  There is nothing magical about just writing out your goals.  You have to keep pursuing them.  You have to keep the target in front of you.  You can get sidetracked too easily so make a habit of checking your progress.

Now that you have your goals written, and you know how often you are going to review them, the last step to take is to have a plan of action.  What are the rungs in the ladder that you need to climb to the top and reach your goal?  Break them down into smaller pieces so that you can see the progress you are making and not be so overwhelmed with the overall goal.  Reach your goal one rung at a time and before you know it, you will be at the top.

No one ever said that this was easy.  If you want to reach a higher place in life, it takes a lot more energy and effort than it does to stay where you are.  Are your goals, your dreams, worth the effort?  Only you can decide whether or not it is worth pursuing.  I hope you will set some goals and will find yourself enjoying life more every day.

Be Resolute

There are just a couple of days ahead and the New Year will begin. The time to be resolute is here. I am not talking about the typical New Year’s resolutions that most people already stamp failure on subconsciously.  I am talking about being resolute, determined to make a change or accomplish something in the New Year.

The following is a short list of items that I intend to be resolute to pursue so that I can reach my goals not only for the coming year, but my long-term goals in the years ahead.

I am going to be resolute to…

• change my financial status over the next year.
• pursue my passion in life above all other things.
• make a difference in someone’s life everyday.
• change the life of one family in Mexico by helping build a house for them.
• be a better connector of people.
• continue writing day after day.
• begin speaking in public.

What will the New Year hold for you? 

The Struggle

A few people who have read over my blog entries often comment about my openness here. I tend to open up so that others can feel comfortable to do the same. So I am going to share one of the struggles I am having currently.

In the fall of 2004 when God placed the desire on my heart to start a new "church," little did I know that I would walk away from paid ministry and the traditional setting of "church." My college education was centered on a model that I have since left. My calling hasn't changed, just the manner in which it is carried out. So the last three years have been a real struggle.

The struggle has been finding my place in the work force. If you were to look at my work history over the last three years, you will find a lot of changes. From furniture sales to car sales back to furniture sales. From there, I tried the financial adviser role only to find it not working and so on to merchant services provider, a weekend sales position (selling furniture), a sales position with a sales training company, and an independent distributor for a great company all at one time! In the midst of all of this, my goal was to help establish pockets of disciples who follow after Jesus.

The words of Jesus, "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you," ring in my ears about now. Could it be that all of my struggles to find my place and to provide a consistent income for my household be caused by my loss of focus? What does it truly mean to seek His kingdom? I understand the righteousness part but perhaps there is something more that I need to be doing in the Kingdom area.

I also wonder too if people have not been around what is often referred to as "tent-makers." There are those like who have chosen to spread the message of the Kingdom without taking a salary from the gathering of believers we meet with and earn our living doing something outside of the "norm." (In the days which the Apostles lived, Paul spent some time making tents to provide for his needs as a tent-maker.) I wanted to meet with a group of ministers and youth ministers this morning and share with them an idea that could really add some value to their ministry. Upon hearing about my coming to share with them about this tool, which is one of the businesses that I am in, they didn't want me to come. If people within the Kingdom don't help (and by help, that doesn't necessarily mean they have to do business with me, but they may know who I can help and direct me to them), do we leave it up to the world to be our means?

There is a growing need for people to become more focused on helping others than just themselves. I think that is why Jesus said "seek first his kingdom..." (emphasis mine), because our natural tendency is to seek our own kingdom. Herein lies my struggle. My need to pay bills keeps looming before me and they are backed up. So I am pursuing 4 different avenues to just try and make ends meet and I feel like I have little time left for the Kingdom. How does one just ignore the need that has become great to not think about it and pursue the Kingdom?

Your feedback is always appreciated and I hope that this all makes sense. I am just a disciple struggling through this thing called life and hope that I can in some way help others along the way!

Regaining Focus

More and more people are searching out what it means to be the church. Our own network of simple/house churches will be reflecting on the following ideas and how to best practice them.

We will be looking at what it means to love God in our daily lives. Because this is a very personal action, we are going to encourage our groups to read a Psalm a day to grow in our devotion to God. Suggested approach will be to read through the Psalm once just to have the overall picture. Begin reading it a second time stopping on any words or phrases that stand out to meditate on them. If anything creative comes out of the meditation, act upon it: sing, write out your thoughts in verse, sketch, paint, create. The third element would be to begin finding questions that flow from the verses. The questions may not be able to be answered but our thoughts should generate lots of them. Once you have questions listed, identify what stands out to you or makes the light bulb turn on. Finally, is there anything you need to act on? The point of reading the Psalm is not for doctrinal purposes but to grow closer to God.

We are working on what it means to love one another and loving our neighbor. Those of us living in either a rural or suburban area have a much different lifestyle than in places where everyone in a village area or inner city where there is more frequent contact with their neighbors. We may only see our neighbors once in a while. How do you begin to encourage one another daily? How do we keep relationships within the Body of Christ at the top of our list when we spend 8-12 hours working, commuting, and then come home to take care of daily needs like meals and spending time with our own family? We have a number of resources that we all use on a regular basis that we need to find ways of using it to connect. Facebook may be an option, for example. We are open for suggestions on how this can be accomplished doing the things we are already doing.

These are the two big areas that we are working on to accomplish loving God and loving others.

Love Your Neighbor

The second most important thing that we must do is love our neighbor. How are you doing that on a practical level on a regular basis (I am looking for daily practices here)?